3:14 a.m. - December 10, 2013
I want to paint the walls red
The only thing that makes me feel alive is pain, and a lot of it. When I feel alive, I feel like painting the walls red.
I always feel like I'm in a crowd, but when I'm alive I am the crowd. Sometimes, I feel like everything I really want to do and feel is wrong. But its how I am and I struggle constantly between being alone or pretending to be normal. I got tired of alone and now I'm getting tired of being in the crowd.

"I am the story
I am the star
you know, like the big dipper
Sex, drugs, and rock n roll
its over
Its over
I decide its over"