12:45 p.m. - 2007-06-13
Surrendering
Lights flickering faster than before, now the shadows move in slowly, I'm cutting my chest open, a sign, to draw them back in, I'm ushering in defeat. I remember now how I can't do a fucking thing, unable to live. I was never one to cope with shit or anything at that. I can't stand this bloodless dream going in circles around me. I can't stand your fascinations perpetuating on me, I can't take your every-day-antgonistic-bullshit. I just don't care about a damn thing you say.

So many things attached to the end but none like the way I found today. I've returned because of them but they no longer hold me slave. I've found happiness in death this way.

And the sweat runs down my face, and the hidden tear trickles out, the blood spills from the veins, and the heart refuses to beat. YOU CAN DO WITH ME WHATEVER YOU WANT, I NO LONGER WANT THIS LIFE. TARE ME TO PIECES, RIP IT INTO SHREDS, CUT APART, FUCK IT INSIDE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST TAKE IT AWAY.