6:42 p.m. - 2007-07-01
Unholy santification
What do I get from this holiest of days? I get no santity, instead I spent the day in vainless vanity. INstead of feeling clean, I feel so disguisted with myself, yet enthrilled all at once. She caught my eye, something I can never have. I can't bare to hold her skin yet not taste it. Her lips so close to mine and yet a million miles apart. A crippling desire crawls up my spine and into my mind, never mind the heart. We can't share love so we share pain. I push her into baptismal flood but don't worry she's biteing my arm as she goes down. I've got her in every single way that I could possibly want yet I can't fully have her.

I whent to clean my soul instead I found dirtyness on my flesh. A burning desire for someone I'm not allowed to have, but so what? I may not be able to have her all to myself but at least I'll have a taste, at least I'll pretend.