3:35 a.m. - 2007-07-01
Forgot to forget
From that first smile, I knew it was wrong. I lived my life covering up the stains left from the previous night's parade, and I remember the thrill, the excitment. I've woken up today, full of regret.

I forgot to forget...

Nothing is really that important anymore, because I paid attention to the details, never the big picture. I failed to...to do so much. Nothing really matters to me anymore.

Millions of things have happened to me, and through the storms and through the rains I end up the same. Unchanged, standing still as day and night become the same. It's my desire that's gone, how can I love you when I loath myself? How do you expect me to go on when I'm stuck in this rut? and the feeling rots and rots.

How to forget and forgive, if I constantly forget to forget? How can I pretend not to pretend? I can't erase my mistake, I can't make this hurt go away. I can't escape the last day, I'm stuck in grey, slowly, slowly growing dead.