12:04 p.m. - 2008-12-10
Teenage Christ
Mouth and vagrant thoughts, are depleated. Broken rose, burning cross. Fragments as reminders of the disaster we never saw. Minus the strains, we have nothing. My mind is collapsing...

Day in, day out, living with tainted thoughts of what could have been had I enough courage to self deleate. And I wonder, how splendid emptiness could really be. Dashing madly, a thousand miles to taste those unquenchable lips, that erase and fill, seamlessly; to find that the only thing I'm able to manipulate is one single thought, the rest is out of my hands. Cowardly carrying a cross because I care too much, because I have a heart, because Father said so. Walking up this hill happily because at the top I'll finally have my end.

Eyes begin to soften, but my muscles have harden. If just one tear could come out, if it could just fuse with my blood, that's trinkling out. If for just this second, I could feel as if Life was waiting as opposed to a crucifiction. I'd curse God himself if the Devil were to bring me a false sense of tranquility. Keep my soul, please ease my heart, if for only just one time, please.