1:16 p.m. - July 29, 2011
My one and only god; Deviance
Religiously unwound, broken apart, and it seems to be starting again--this chaotic feeling that tares me life up, when life just isn't doing it enough. Remission has ended, the cancer grew back again. There's no saving me from me. Don't beg me, please! I cannot change. No one can stop its pace.

My mind is torn, and I feel like a distant stranger lives inside of me. A dormant giant, who by simply flinching, throws my life into a void. An ancient god of old, he beckons me to sleep. A Lord who requires nothing but blood. He hasn't eaten in years and now he roars with hunger. I'm nothing more than its servant, it's vessel.

I'm growing tired of fighting, I'm about to surrender, to my one and only god--His name is Deviance.