3:37 a.m. - October 08, 2011
The Star, The Sun, The Moon, and The Tower (My story told by the Tarot).
I've got the daughter of the stars in my arms, the sun is on my back; yet, I'm slipping into the darkest nights. I've lost my own. Everything is working out but deep down inside, I'm a shadow of who I was. Nothing can bring me back, and I'm stuck in this rut. I want out.

I remember debauchery, cheap little tricks I used to escape this feeling. There were so many, so few are left. We raised our cups to happiness. They overflowed all over the place. There we were covered in hopeless, dreams, drowning out the sound of reality. One by one, all died. We cared not, at least I didn't. I knew there would be another just like you here. I was right, and the only difference is that I'm stuck and I can't get out.

I've never had to completely restructure myself, but I have no choice but to collapse. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm afraid of the bottom. I've come so close to it, but now the only way to survive is to demolish myself. Bring in the explosives, I'm ready for a new start.